window pane

I'll write a secret for you in the frosty morning
I'll leave it on your window pane
Melted through to print itself on glass
So you can find still when it's melted all away
With just a breath upon the window pane


this just popped into my head and I had to get it down before I lost it

X-Box

Would you love me more if I were an X-box

you traded your dreams for pixelated screens
escaping you real life problems and stresses
but while your out in deep space fighting distant alien races
I'm left in the real world to pick up the pieces

cause that 8-bit sword to fight the zombie hoard
doesn't do much against the anger seething
from the one whose given up believing a single word I say
and even if you knew I was telling the truth
it seems that it's just not worth the xp to stand by me

and I when I got tired of having a rival
made out of circuts and ram
since you've made it clear to me that clearing level 17
is just easier than giving a damn

I logged out, pulled the plug, game over, power down
and that's when you decided to care
you asked me why I'd chosen to leave
but the tetris block shaped words got caught in my throat
and I had no way to answer

but it's been almost a year, since I chose to live here
and since then I've found my voice
so just for you dad, I'll explain my choice

life doesn't have checkpoints or walkthrough vids
there are no strategy guides or men with no lives posting on forums about glitches
no good dad mods or hacks to stop you from screwing up your kids

cause this life shit takes work,
 without the promise of acheivment points to be earned
it takes more than a joystick to navigate through
it takes honest effort
from you

I get if your upset, even feeling alittle betrayed
but give me a minute, listen to what I'm trying to say
because dad based on what I've seen,
the lesson from you that i've gleaned is you really screw up your life when you hide in a screen

and though I still love you, wether or not you hit save file
I don't have the hit points to wait much longer
to see if you'll pick me over my electronic rival

A sci-fi short story

 This is it Williams thought I'm going to die out here in the middle of some uncharted galaxy, and there's nothing I can do about it she fought the sudden urge to sob or even sigh to heavily, out of fear of using up the dwindling O2 supply, not as though it really matters she thought seeing as how it'll be gone long before help arrives, if help is even on it's way... "Don't you worry Phey, I'm sure help is on the way right now"... she looked over at Gryph, she wanted to tell him he was being an idiot, and far too optimistic given their circumstances, but after a glance at the O2 level gauge, she just shook her head "Shut up Gryph."


Lieutenant Commander Phey Williams was famous, or perhaps more accurately infamous, for her fiery temper. This particular day found Williams none too pleased with the high commanding officers of the S.S. Mjolnr. She was one of the head engineers on one of the finest vessels in seven systems and they had put her on pod check. This meant going through a systems check of each of the ships exploration and escape pods, which really only required her to check the reserve O2 systems, the seals on the doors and to make sure the basic navigation systems, which were each powered by their own plasma cell, like the ship and the pods themselves, were still online and functioning. It was a tedious and demeaning task usually reserved for the newer or lower ranking members of the ships engineering crew.
Williams couldn't believe that the federation had placed such complete morons in charge of her ship, and she had more than half a mind to share that opinion with the federation higher ups at the next evaluation. Even though her temper was probably what had gotten her stuck here in the first place, given that she had chosen to tell the ship's captain at the most recent evaluation that the difference between him and a trained chimp doing his job would be a handful more of IQ points and a fondness for rehydrated bananas, as well as few other choice comments. In retrospect it hadn't been the brightest thing to do , but even if Williams recognized this fact, she still felt that putting her on pod check for the entire ship was going a little over board. Especially considering they had put her with the one of the newer engineers, Lieutenant Gryph Leasman, who while a bright young engineer who had graduated from the academy not more than a few years behind Williams, had never worked on ship of the Mjolnr's size or class before and therefore had to prodded occasionally so that he stopped gawking long enough to do his job, making him a poor match for her temperament.
They had almost finished the pod check for the ships final level, Leasman having barely said more than two words together the last few levels, given that when Leasman had, for the umpteenth time, begun rambling aloud what a fantastic ship it was and what an honor it was to be chosen to work with her, she had responded by telling him exactly where he could shove his bright eyed enthusiasm if he so much as breathed another syllable. They had since passed the last few hours in near silence. So it startled Williams a little when the young engineer suddenly shouted "Officer Williams? I think there's a problem with this pod's nav system." Williams rolled her eyes "That's highly unlikely" she said as she walked towards his row of pods "these nav systems are updated every four hours by the same computer as the ones on the main control decks, more likely there's a malfunction with your scanner", she said as she took out her own scanner and ran it over the pods exterior control panel, "they always give the newbie's the older models that are prone to-" She didn't get a chance to finish her thought as the ship began to shake violently, the ships AI system suddenly blaring "threat level code omega red is currently engaged, this is not a drill." Williams swore under her breath, " we have to get to main engine room, that's the warning for a class three solar storm, which given how close we are to the nearest star system means we'll be fried if we stay here, not to mention we could lose life support if there aren't enough of us up there" she started running with Leasman close behind. They weren't more than 10 feet from the pods they'd been checking when another violent shake hit the ship, Williams was thrown to the side of the corridor, as part of the ceiling was knocked loose accompanied by a shower of sparks, she began climbing to her feet when she felt a sudden, sharp strike against her temple, the last thing she heard was the hiss of escaping air, before everything went black.
Williams awoke to an incessant throbbing on the left side of her head and a voice, that as best as she could determine was Lieutenant Leasman's, "Lieutenant Commander? Lieutenant Commander Williams? Are you all right? Can you hear me?" She couldn't quite determine which was bothering her more. "Yes I can hear you Lieutenant," She snapped, immediately regretting it as pain shot through her skull, he breathed a sigh of relief then started rambling "Oh thank god you're ok I thought-" she cut him off  "though believe me right now I wish I couldn't" she gingerly touched the aching side of her head noticing what appeared to be dried blood on the her face, she hadn't opened her eyes yet when she asked "alright Lieutenant, how long have I been out and where are we" "well you've been out for maybe an hour tops, not much longer, and we're um, well we're in one of the pods" Williams' eyes shot open which she immediately regretted, even the minimal light from the pods standard emergency lights seemed too bright, definitely a concussion  she thought, then with a start something else occurred to her " Lieutenant, the pods emergency lights only activate when the pod has launched, would you like to share the reason why they appear to be activated?!" the lieutenant looked sheepish as he mumbled some response, Williams voice did not get louder than if she had asked what they were serving in the mess hall, but it had an undeniably steel edged quality to it "Would you care to speak up Lieutenant?" Leasman cleared his throat "the pod was the nearest safe place to take you after you were knocked out, unfortunately the damage to the lower levels of the ship caused it to enter launch sequence and I didn't have a chance to override it" Williams sighed, "alright how much time till we reconnect with the ship, and how much O2 do we have" "well see that's the thing, um this was the pod that my scans showed as having a potential malfunction, which turns out to have been an issue with its communication systems, so umm" Williams' glare could probably have slagged the reinforced alloy of the ship's hull "meaning what Lieutenant?" "Meaning that, um well I only had a few seconds to radio the main vessel before I lost the signal" Williams' expression did not change "and what's the good news?" she said, "well that was the good news," Williams' glare intensified, Leasman continued quickly "the monitoring systems for the life support also appear to be non-functioning, so I have no idea how much O2 we've got" Williams swore under her breath. "Alright let me think for a second, these pods are delta class 8's which means that there should be..." she trailed off as she moved towards a panel on the far wall of the cramped pod, which she pried open to reveal a set of basic analog gauges, all of which appeared to be functioning, but just as she was about to feel something akin to relief she realized that the O2 gauge indicated only a couple hours of air. "Shit", "What's wrong?" "Well, let's just say that you better hope your message got through to the main deck before the signal got cut, or" she pointed towards the O2 gauge "they'll be notifying your next of kin at the nearest station."
It had taken almost an hour and a half to calm down the Lieutenant after that, during which he had gone into a near panic attack that had probably used up more of their O2 than Williams wanted to think about. This is it Williams thought I'm going to die out here in the middle of some uncharted galaxy, and there's nothing I can do about it she fought the sudden urge to sob or even sigh to heavily, out of fear of using up the dwindling O2 supply, not as though it really matters she thought seeing as how it'll be gone long before help arrives, if it's even on its way. Lieutenant Leasman had already started to act slightly punch drunk form the lack of O2, "Lieutenant, Lieutenant Leasman, Gryph!" he looked over at her suddenly startled out of his near inaudible mumblings "you have to stay with me here Gryph" he looked at her for a second as though surprised then said in a slightly slurred voice " you know my name" Williams fought the urge to swear at him, "Yes Gryph, I know your name that's part of my job" he smiled at that in a sleepy way then suddenly frowning said "but I don't know your name," he seemed genuinely troubled by this, Williams shook her head before answering "My name is Phey, you might as well know if we're going to die together" Gryph smiled again, "Phey, that's pretty" Phey shook her head wondering why she was wasting air talking to this dope "Don't you worry Phey," he mumbled "I'm sure help is on the way right now, and when we get back to the ship" " if we get back" and that's a pretty big if she thought, he continued as though he hadn't heard her, "I'd like you to have dinner or at least a drink with me" she looked over at Gryph, she wanted to tell him he was being an idiot, and far too optimistic given their circumstances, but after a glance at the O2 level gauge, she just shook her head "Shut up Gryph." "Not until you promise to at least have a drink with me" He slurred, Phey smiled in spite of herself "alright Gryph I promise" he mumbled something that might have been good, before finally going quiet, except for shallow breaths, Phey was starting to feel lightheaded as she watched the gauge drop into the level that indicated maybe a few minutes of air if they were lucky, her last thought I sure hope he was right. Then everything went black.
Phey woke up to a bright light and the voice of the ships doctor calling out, "Lieutenant Commander Williams, can you hear me?" "I can hear you just fine Doc" that earned a chuckle "you're very lucky Lieutenant Commander" "don't I know it" she groaned and though she could feel the smile on her face, the doctor chuckled again "well aside from a surprisingly minor concussion, you're doing much better than you would be if Lieutenant Leasman hadn't gotten that message to us when he did" Phey started at that, the doctor held her down as she tried to sit up suddenly "Where is Gryph?, is he ok?" the doctor smiled at her "Lieutenant Leasman is fine, see for yourself" he gestured to the bed next to hers, where she saw Gryph sitting, smiling at her, "your condition was slightly aggravated by the concussion" the doctor explained "so you're going to need to rest for at least 48 hours, in the meantime Lieutenant Leasman will be acting as your stand in" Phey relaxed at that "I'll leave you to relax a little Williams," he nodded towards Gryph "Lieutenant Leasman."  When the doctor had left Gryph smiled at Phey "you better get some rest," he said, "and once you're back on your feet,  I believe you owe me a drink" Phey thought about arguing but instead she just smiled and said "I'm pretty sure I owe you dinner," "sounds good to me" Gryph smiled again and left the sick bay, and Phey let herself take a deserved rest.

Over It

I'm over being pushed into little boxes
Tucked and folded to fit your molds,
Over having to watch you burn off the frayed strings
When you tear the parts off that don't mesh

I'm tired, of not being enough
Of feeling like I'm being stripped of extra pieces
Like I'm being boiled down to a single idea,
With anything extra being skimmed off the top

I'm sick of being compared to myself
To the molded and reshaped image in your head
Of being a disappointment
When I don't follow your script

I refuse, I'm through
I won't play your damsel, or become your villain
I will not be anyone but me